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Like or unlike most americans I’ve decided this year is my year to embrace life and own it for all it is worth; and therefore have decided NOT to make any New Years Resolutions.  This year I’ve decided to change my perspective on life and who I am:

Just like many of people in the world, I’ve struggled with body confidence for the past decade of my life.   In my early 20’s I began to binge as a form of self punishment and control.  I  set “Perfect” goals and/or standards for myself; goals that would require me to go bonkers crazy to accomplish.  For example a goal might be to Lose 10 Pounds in a month; if the magazines say you can do it anyone can do it, right?  I’ve tried all different types of diets, diets that would occupy my mind 24/7 and the second I would slip, was the second I became a failure.  Failure was the word that blew my confidence.  When my body weight would fluctuate I kept setting goals and rewards, but the smallest set back became the biggest set back.  For the past 10 years I’ve punished myself, not enjoying all life has to offer.  

Two months ago I hit rock bottom, I felt so frustrated with the results of my current plan.  I threw my arms up to give up and surrender to failure once again as I moved into my 30th year of life.  With the support of my husband, I started working out with a personal trainer.  For the first three weeks I cut the alcohol and sugar and saw truly amazing results: more energy, self confidence and loss of weight.  

Leading into November I adjusted my plan and added alcohol and fruit/sugar into my diet and continuing the life change of eating well.  In December I outlined goals for myself taht I felt were attainable: self confidence, high energy, more sleep and reduce weigh ins by maintaining 145-143 weight goal.  Through these goals I continued to push hard, continuing to log my cardio minutes, calories burned and consumed.  As this is great, it is also extremely overwhelming form me.  I felt like I was trapped, a slave to counting calories and weighing myself to drop 2-3 pounds, just a “small” goal during the holiday season.  But, why on earth wold anyone torture themselves like this through the holidays, when there is already a massive amount of stress during the holiday season!  With this I have a new perspective for 2012:

    1. I am BEAUTIFUL!!  I eat well and exercise to maintain a beautiful body.  A body defined by how well it will do as I continue to challange it in and out of the gym.  NOT a body defined by a number on the scale.  The media airburses models and defines what is beautifu, but the media is no longer defining or distorting what beautiful is.  Everyone is unique and I am unique tooo.  I love taht I can offer something different and can be positive in a world that needs more love and psitiviity.
    2. Goals/Rewards My goasl for 2012 are:  A) Continue Training B) Start Swimming C) Enter 6 races. Rewards are completing the goals.  I do not need new clothes or a trip to reward me.  I need clothes to preform better and trips to give my body rest and relaxation.
    3. Me Time & Family Time I always over commit myself and this is the year when I will commit to spending more time with my husband and time relaxing and meditating.

I’m so excited to celebrate 2012!  To celebrate life, love adventures, freedom and self acceptance.  This is my year to won and embrace self confidence, self acceptance, joy excitement for life, to believe in myself, stay true to who I am and see/experience the love, joy, excitement, fun and happiness in life, not on a scale.

Happy 2012

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